Now when I pray I often tell our Heavenly Father, “I want you to be Present. Being a good provider is important but I want a Father who is present all the time, and who will train me how to do stuff.”
Jesus says “This is the kind of prayer our Father loves to answer.”
“If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:13).
I am the oldest, Henry is two years younger, and Marlene is seven years younger than me.
When Columbia Bitulithic had a paving plant that was losing money they would send Dad in to get it profitable again. He would get up at 2:00 a.m. to start the burners so the tar would be sufficiently warm at 6:00 when the trucks arrived. He went to bed early and mom had to keep us kids quiet as we lived in small hotel rooms all summer long. The company paid for Dad’s meals at the cafe, and since we were a family of five they allowed us to have supper at the restaurant every second night. We could get whatever kind of pop we wanted. This was very special. All the other meals mom cooked as the hotel room had a kitchenette. The smell of hot asphalt still floods me with good memories. Mom was the best possible mom through those years and of course we couldn’t live year-round on the road crews but as a young child I hated the months when dad was up North and we had to go back to the Fraser Valley. Maybe this is partly why I quit high school at 17 to go North to find work.
My dad is the second from the left, the middle of the dark coveralls.
I thank God for various mentors over the years, but mostly I thank Him for His commitment to be present, to carry me when things get too rough, and to help me walk out my destiny.
Eulevan was a dedicated bodyguard and specialist of Saint Benedito. Fatima belonged to a special group of women who were dedicated to worshiping this patron saint of Gurupá. Heitor, their 16-year-old son, prayed for his parents and sister for years. After Fatima became a Christian, she grew tired of her 30-year-old common law relationship with Eulevan. She came to Pastor Edna for counsel. After her Immanuel Prayer experience with Jesus Fatima “gave up on giving up on their marriage” and she started to pray. This year, 2020, Eulevan came to Jesus and they got married in November.
Eulevan and Fatima got married this year, and transferred their allegiance from St Benedito to Jesus.
Heitor, far left, is hungry ready to do God’s will, as are a growing number of young people in this region.
Edna and Leão are pastors in Gurupá, and at the November 2020 training event they were ordained as regional supervisors for the Xingu and Marajó Regions. It is a huge area, a God-sized challenge to evangelize well.
Christmas is a great time to call or message someone and wish them well.
Look especially for relatives or old acquaintances with whom you sense and emotional cut-off. Many of us have a family history of cut-offs. If you see this trend in your life, especially in your family, work on reversing it. Roberta Gilbert noted that “cutoff is so prevalent among us that America has been called “a nation of cutoffs.’ That has to do with the large number of immigrants living in this country and the high incidence of cutoff present in immigration in general” (2018, p. 53). Cutoffs are prevalent among people in Canada and Brazil as well.
Use this Christmas season to bless people.
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” (Luke 2:14).
Build Deeper Friendships.
Deeper friendships require deeper conversations.
Try to have conversations with people that are not shallow and not about someone else, not gossip. This is surprisingly difficult.
A person-to-person relationship is conceived as an ideal in which two people can communicate freely about the full range of personal issues between them. Most people cannot tolerate more than a few minutes on a personal level. When either party becomes anxious, he begins talking about a third person (triangles in another person), or thecommunication becomes impersonal and they talk about things.
(Bowen, M., 1993, p. 499)
If you find yourself in an emotional storm, try to stay present.
Do not enter the emotional drama. Do not react in kind.
Do not distance yourself emotionally or geographically. Stay present.
Do try to be kind. Be curious. Give the other person emotional space to work through his/her stuff while you thoughtfully consider your part in what just happened.
“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him” (Philippians 2:13).
References
Bowen, M., 1993, Family Therapy in Clinical Practice. Jason Aronson, Inc. Kindle Edition. Gilbert, R., 2018, The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory, Leading Systems Press. Kindle Edition.
There was only one other couple in the café. We got our coffees and sat down at a different table. The early morning coffee tasted even better because it was snowing outside. The businessman I was meeting was burdened. Memories of many coffees like this decades ago helped the stories to flow. My friend started explaining his concerns and convictions. I was soaking in the Northern air, sipping my coffee, and listening to my friend’s interpretation of the news. Suddenly the other table in the room exploded. The chairs scraped back, almost falling over. The beautiful lady jumped up and came over, madder than a hornet. All I really heard were the loud f-words and that my friend needed to “stop talking immediately!” The huge bearded giant in a checkered flannel shirt who was drinking coffee with the lady followed a few meters behind her, affirming her by casting derogatory comments at us in calmer manner as they cursed their way to the exit. I was so surprised. Until that table exploded I had forgotten we were in a public setting. My first thought was to apologize and to try to hear their story but my friend had a different emotional response. Instead of letting them leave as peacefully as possibly he immediately and loudly tried engaging them with even more of his version of the truth. This was not well received. I was able to stay engaged without getting triggered by the emotional drama. “Interesting. Social anxiety is really high. This is unusual behavior for Canadians.” My friend looked at me in discouragement. “See, this is what bothers me. I’m not even allowed to have my own opinion.” I apologized to the barista who was staring at the couple as they left. She was gracious and shrugged it off with a smile. Now we had the café to ourselves so we continued with our conversation until our coffees were gone.
Multigenerational Transmission Process
We learn many of our primary emotional responses from our parents. If our parents experienced great trauma in life, some of that gets passed on to some of their children. My own personal history, for example, includes generations of Christian blessings. It also includes great trauma. My uncle wrote that my great-grandparents owned 78 yoke of oxen which they used to plow their fields. They were huge land-owners and employers in Russia. My grandfather, their son, escaped to Canada with his wife and two small children in the 1920s but his father died in a Siberian prison camp. Seven more children would be born in Canada, including my mother who learned to speak English when she went to school in Grade One. Can you imagine the difficulties? On my father’s side, his grandparents owned a mill in Russia. All the people in their village worked for him. One day at lunch he left the big mill running and escaped out the back door with his family and a suitcase full of cash. They bribed their way out of Russia ended up as pioneers in Northern Manitoba. Those who could not get out suffered severely. My mom has her grandfather’s original journal, written in pencil while in a Siberian labor camp. These stories are common among the Mennonites. God rescued them and led them to Canada, the United States, Brazil, and Paraguay. The people who fled the government persecution lived to prosper elsewhere. This is my people’s history. Now our Canadian government is forbidding public church services and forbidding family gatherings at Christmas. Back to the lady in the café, I wonder what stories her parents experienced and passed down to her and how she learned to cope with chronic stress? I am really curious about her story.
Preparation for Revival?
Seasons of great stress may be a Preparation for a Revival. When we run out of our own resources and we are desperate, this is a great time to abandon ourselves to God. This is a time for some people to engage in different kinds of conversations, the deeper kind. May God’s people rise up strong during this opportune season to be a kind and powerful Presence. In order for this to happen we need to be more connected than ever to God.
1. Learn to attach to Jesus above all else. This takes time, personal time, with Him. Learn to let Him carry you in spite of all the dark possibilities. I find a minimum of 20 minutes daily of Centering Prayer most helpful. My brain used to feel so scattered with possible bad emails, or bad news. God is using my Centering Prayer time, my quiet time in His presence, to start my day with a better perspective.
3. When you are in a dark place keep going with your last instructions from when you were in the light.
God has told me many times through a variety of sources that we are coming in to an abundantly fruitful season.
Im sticking with this until I get further instructions.
4. Sometimes the Discipline of Indifference is helpful. Ask the Holy Spirit what is at the root of your anxiety. Then use words to give that to Him. In an act of radical abandonment commit to putting God first no matter what.
4. As you think about what is causing you anxiety, remember the Serenity Prayer. Twenty-five years ago in Santarem a doctor friend explained to me, “We like to think about worst-case scenarios. What is the worst thing that could happen? If we can face that question we can move forward.” This kind of thinking helps me.
One of Jesus’ names is Counselor. We ask for counsel, and then we choose obedience. Making the right choice is comforting even when it is scary.
“For a Child will be born to us, a Son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace”(Isaiah 9:6).“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid”(John 14:27). 5. On a practical level, if you struggle with chronic anxiety and it won’t go away, a friend explained to me how he developed a hobby that took all of his concentration. His mind could not focus on two things at once. In this way he could get his peace back.
Questions:
1. How is chronic anxiety affecting you on a scale of 1-100?
2. How do you cope with it?
3. Is your method working for you?
4. Have you had any chances to genuinely share the reason for your Hope?
