How God Leads Through Detours and Delays
We like to think we know how God should work in our life and in our people’s lives. We assume God wants us to map out best choices, right priorities, and logical steps. But time and time again, I’ve learned that God’s path is frequently unpredictable—and it often defies our expectations.
Take the story of a mother in our community, trapped in addiction. Everyone thought they knew the answer: just quit drinking. But nothing helped longterm—until something unexpected happened.
- A Mother’s Journey to Freedom
In our neighborhood, there was a woman trapped in alcoholism. But it wasn’t just her struggle—her children suffered, her boyfriend suffered, and their home was a battleground of addiction and despair. The cycle repeated like a broken record, each attempt at change swallowed by old patterns.
For example, one evening, the pastor of our church called me. Her boyfriend had shown up at the church, a bottle of hard liquor in hand, distraught and drinking. He reminded the pastor that once upon a time, he had done the same thing—stumbling into church drunk, before his life turned around and he became a pastor himself. But tonight, it was a disruption. The pastor didn’t want him drinking in the church.
I brought the man back to our house to hear his story. As we sat together, he lifted his shirt, revealing a vivid fresh wound. “She stabbed me,” he said, referring to his girlfriend—the mother referred to above. The wound had been inflicted with a large kitchen knife, driven straight into one of his middle ribs. His rib protected him.
“She shouldn’t have done that,” he told me. I asked him what happened, which is another whole story, but this was their life—chaotic, wounded, and raw.
And yet, even in the mess, God was still at work.
She started coming to our church, bringing her children along, hoping for a fresh start. She prayed, she received prayer, she wanted change. But no matter how much she tried, the addiction always pulled her back in.
Our young church leaders saw her struggle and asked Deanna to talk to her about quitting drinking. But nothing changed long term. No intervention, no conversation, no prayer seemed to break the stronghold.
Another time her children came running to get us—their mom had collapsed, unconscious.
When we reached her, it was clear this wasn’t just about alcohol. She was spiritually oppressed. We prayed, rebuked what was tormenting her, and suddenly, she woke up just long enough to say, “I will never forgive my mom. She abandoned me.” Then she passed out again.
I carried her to a bed and stayed to talk with her boyfriend when he returned home. We talked about her past, her pain, and the deep wounds that still gripped her.
Then one morning, everything shifted.
Through Deanna’s encouragement, she reached out to her mother, who lived in another state. She made the difficult choice to forgive, and in doing so, she was set free—not just spiritually but, we found out over time, from the alcoholism that had enslaved her.
In time, she moved South to be near her mother, taking her seven children with her. The last I heard, she was part of a church and studying at a university.
Her journey didn’t follow our plan, fit our timeline, or expectations, but God knew exactly what needed to happen.
- Unexpected Transformations
This wasn’t the only time I’ve seen God work in ways I couldn’t predict.
I remember a men’s group around 2002. The picture captured a circle of men—many of them the town drunks and rough characters from our neighborhood.
Looking at that group back then, no one could have predicted what would happen next. Some of those men, the ones others had written off, went on to become senior pastors and church planters. They turned their lives around and became leaders in their communities. But others—including one who never missed a church meeting, who seemed strong in their faith—ended up in tragedy.
We can never fully see what God is doing in someone’s life. We assume we know who will make it and who won’t. But God’s plan isn’t always apparent.
The Heroes of the Bible: Different Paths, Same Destination
Faith isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey. The heroes of the Bible matured in their faith in various ways, each shaped by unique struggles, lessons, and encounters with God.
- Joseph was the favored son, but life humbled him. Betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, and unjustly imprisoned, he learned to trust God in the unseen and the unfair.
- David was the overlooked son, left tending sheep while his brothers fought in battle. Yet, he learned courage, faith, and obedience in the wilderness—slaying giants before he ever wore a crown.
- Daniel was a captive in a foreign land, torn from his home and culture. Yet, instead of despairing, he leaned entirely on God, thriving in faith despite the pressures of a hostile world.
- The disciples each had their struggles before they followed Jesus. Fishermen, tax collectors, skeptics, and zealots—they had to unlearn their ways before they could truly walk in His.
- Even Jesus Himself was “perfected through suffering.” As Hebrews 5:8-9 tells us:
“Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered. And having been perfected, He became the source of eternal salvation for all those who obey Him.”
My Journey: From Strength to Surrender
I was strong, capable, and determined to carve my own path in my youth. In His wisdom, God allowed me to run as far as I could on my own strength before stepping in to rescue me. Only from a place of humility did I begin my real lessons in faith.
That sense of “I can do this”—as if God is lucky to have me on His team—is a heavy burden. It blinded me to my need for grace and kept me from truly seeing others with compassion. But my struggles in young adulthood, while painful, became the very thing that shaped me. They stripped away pride and gave me the gift of charity and humility—the ability to see others through the same lens of grace that God had extended to me.
The lesson remains the same regardless of the path: God knows how to shape us. He knows what we need to break free from self-reliance and learn true obedience. And in the end, no journey is wasted when it leads us closer to Him.
- Servant Leadership and Trusting God’s Process
God’s ways are not linear. We don’t see the whole picture. But the best thing we can do is walk alongside people on their journey—encouraging, praying, and trusting that God is leading them, even when His plan looks different from what we expect.
At the end of the day, our job isn’t to control someone’s transformation—it’s to be faithful in loving, serving, and pointing them to Jesus.
Three Takeaways for Facing Life’s Challenges:
- Healing often starts in the heart. Real change happens when deep wounds are addressed—sometimes, forgiveness unlocks freedom.
- Not everyone’s path looks the same. Some who seem lost end up leading others, while some who appear strong struggle behind closed doors. Trust God’s process.
- God calls us to walk alongside, not control. Our job isn’t to fix people—it’s to encourage, support, and believe that God is working, even when we don’t see it yet.
No matter where you are on your journey, God’s plan for you is unfolding—even if it looks different from what you expected.
The same is true for your adult children, siblings, and neighbors…for your people.
How do you present as a spiritual person and a servant leader while giving those around you the space to mature in God’s timing? How do you find the balance?