I don’t know which is the best age to do your Masters,

But though they live continents apart

Anni and Deanna

Both graduated at the same time,

With a degree to help others more effectively.

Both celebrated at home,

In combination with another celebration.

Anni’s party combined with their “Girls Night,” and 

Deanna’s party combined with Mother’s Day

Silmara, far left, black shirt, made Deanna’s Grad Cake and her black grad hat.

My Dream

This week I had a dream. Deanna and I were on a long road trip. Somewhere along the way, we were stopped temporarily for construction. When we got going again, we came to a fork in the road. While most of the traffic went one way, our GPS clearly indicated our route was the other way, up a steep mountain road that narrowed the higher we got. Two big motorcycles had gone up ahead. Suddenly they were in front of me, doing three-point turns to head back. I had to brake suddenly to avoid hitting one of them. We wondered why they had turned around and there was no other traffic, but we kept going. Was the road closed? Soon we reached a viewpoint pullover where we could see a town down in the valley where the other road had gone. We decided to turn around, have lunch in the town, and get more info about our road. The town was peaceful, full of people living comfortably, and it had city parks, a Dairy Queen, and a Tim Hortons. We ate in a cafe. Everyone was busy, chatting goodnaturedly in small circles. Finally, I interrupted a group and spoke to a 50-year-old man who looked like he had experience. “How is that other road, the one that goes up the mountain?” He looked up at the mountain. It was getting dark. It was starting to sleet. Visibility was low. The road faded into the low-hanging clouds. The man pointed up to the mountain road and then at the peaceful town. Then he looked at me skeptically. “Think about it. Do you want to go up there?”  I realized the man was not telling me about the road. He was telling me the attitude of the people in the town. I woke up thinking about the road less traveled. I remembered a poem by Robert Frost and a book from Mom’s bookshelf.

The Road Less Traveled

by Robert Frost.

For the full poem click here.

…

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

The Bible and the Road Less Traveled

“Much of the Old Testament is not written by people by mainstream Israelites but by fringe people” (Tim Mackie, Bible Project).

Think about how the prophets in the Old Testament often critiqued the Kings and the people. While the Northern Kingdom had a few good kings, the Southern Kingdom led the people away from God, and the people allowed themselves to be led. The prophets, as part of the group, spoke into those situations. They spoke from the vantage point of a road less traveled.

Imagine that the road more traveled is the human tendency to build our own Gardens of Eden, to make our own security, often by dominating others. Jesus had another idea.

Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples,
saying: “The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses;
therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds;
for they say things and do not do them.
“They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger.
“But they do all their deeds to be noticed by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments.
“They love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues, and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men.
“But do not be called Rabbi; for One is your Teacher, and you are all brothers.
“Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven.
“Do not be called leaders; for One is your Leader, that is, Christ.
“But the greatest among you shall be your servant.
“Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted (Matt. 23:1-12).

Differentiation of Self

Bowen Family Systems Theory posits that to the extent we are fused to other people, we will struggle with chronic anxiety. Let’s say, for example, you love your child and cannot bear to see them hurt. Whenever they hurt you get very anxious and act to fix things up. This is a good thing while the child is a baby, but what if you still respond this way when the child is an adult? The fusion may pass to other people as well, such as an overwhelming desire to please your leader. Anxiety about something over which you have no control leads to chronic stress. Differentiation of Self is when people learn to clearly articulate their position, while still remaining friends with their people.

Jesus is talking about the Differentiation of Self in the Beatitudes. Jesus compared the disciples of today to the prophets of old.

“Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.
“Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you (Matt: 5:10-12).

Servant Leadership? 

But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them.
“It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant,
and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave;
just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:25-28).

What is your experience with Servant Leadership?

Is it a good idea, or wishful thinking for a perfect world?

Do you think it works in today’s culture?

What if everything goes wrong? Does it still work?

Your thoughts?

The season of time surrounding when Mom crossed over to the other side was perfect last year. We are so grateful to God and to everyone who made it possible for us to come back to Canada to live with her for those last weeks in Garden Park. Sometimes over the years, Mom would ask me, “What is it going to be like at the end?” She did not want to go to a home. She visited people in homes and did not want the experience. I always replied, “We don’t know, but it will all work out. We will not abandon you.” Of course, I was speaking by faith, and we are so grateful for how it worked out. I wonder what she is doing now?

Margaret Bergen, my Mom, 1934-2022.

This is Margaret, my Mom, when she was our daughter’s age. 1958. One day she was a beautiful young lady trying to honor God and find her way through life. A few days later, with loved ones nearby, she crossed over to the other side to meet Him personally. Right to the end of her life, Mom had friends who had challenging circumstances and a gift to make many, including me, feel we were best friends, closer than others. I remember her thinking out loud near the end, “I wonder how God will work that all out?”

When I see the 1958 photo above, I wish I could time travel and visit with her, from our vantage point of today.

Tim Kubacki gave me some timeless advice for talking to children.
“It has been a long time since I was (your child’s age). What is it like?”
Ice cream, or breakfast at a restaurant, and silence are your friends. If all goes well you may have invaluable conversations with those you love.

Back Row: Clenildo, Rick, Deanna, Angelita
Front Row: My Mom and Deanna’s Parents; Margaret Bergen, Harold, and Joan Hansen

Deanna and her Mom, Joan Hansen, 1980s?

Zack, Via, Anni, Emma, Bella, & Tim

Deanna says this is her bouquet for Mother’s Day.

It was Emma’s birthday last week, one of the best days of our lives! I stopped building our pizza oven in the backyard to take Deanna to the hospital. We had just moved to Altamira to start the Xingu Mission and Vineyard churches. (NOTE: I merged three photos in Photoshop for this unique art. Thoughts?).

All is well.

The iguana posed for me while I took her photo.

We have come a long way together since March 31, 1991!

Jim Pool, Hadassa, and her dad Enoque.

These people are my heroes, wholeheartedly and courageously embracing God’s individualized training programs to learn to love God and others with all their hearts.

I met Enoque in Southern Brazil and Jim in Angola. They met last week in Chicago and sent me the above photo. Enoque was picking his daughter up from University, and together they traveled back to Spain.

Deanna and I took the ferry out of Belem and, from there, the highway back to Marabá.

Steve and Elba showed us a Belem restaurant that cooks great hamburgers. We could arrange to take you there if you come to visit us.

When I was 12, I asked our Sunday School teacher, “What about all the unsaved people? What happens to them?” The Mennonite Brethren church where I grew up had recently added a Sunday School wing. We moved from a cement basement to having our own 12-year-old boys’ Sunday School room on the second floor.  I was in that transition stage, moving from thinking my people knew all the right answers to thinking they didn’t know anything. This Sunday School teacher was one of my parent’s favorite teachers; very literate and very smart. He had exciting stories of working with the Shantymen Ministry in remote locations in Canada. To my surprise, I felt like our teacher just brushed me off. When I pushed for a better answer, he said, “I’ll get back to you next week.” He came back with Romans 2:14-15.

When Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them. This will take place on the day when God judges people’s secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares (Romans 2:14-16).

I wanted to continue the discussion. “If this is true, and I believe it is, what is the point of sending missionaries around the world?” I had several relatives who were missionaries around the world. They stayed at our house when they were home on furlough. My 12-year-old self was not satisfied with the ensuing discussion. I continued on my trajectory of discovering the adults I knew we not as all-knowing as I had assumed. Thankfully the Lord caused/allowed many situations which turned me around to understand that those I had esteemed, then demoted, were to become my heroes once again. To my great wonder, fifty years later, this man and his wife still support us each month! The way God designs our personal relationships continually fills me with wonder! I can hardly wait for heaven, where I’m hoping we’ll have time to exchange stories at length. Over the years, though, I have continued to ponder the question. Here is where I am at.

1. Humans, when left on their own, tend toward creating their own stairways to heaven, often by dominating or being dominated by others. The Bible describes this with many stories, including Cain and Abel, humanity before the flood, and the Tower of Babel (Gen 4-11).

2. Many years after the Tower of Babel, God made a covenant with Abraham to bless all people on earth.

“I will make you into a great nation,
    and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
    and you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you,
    and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
    will be blessed through you” (Gen 12:2-3).

God’s plan included slavery, 400 years, all the judges and kings, and finally, captivity again.

Meanwhile, the nations are increasing at a terrific rate and often trying to create their own Edens, their own stairways to heaven.

How can we help people connect directly and personally to God?

In March, I invited you to participate in a survey to explore the relationship between Daily Experiences with God and Flourishing among two Age Groups.

69 people filled out the survey.
42 were born during or before 1964 (Traditionalists / Baby Boomers).
27 were born after 1964 (Gen X, Y, and Zers).

Results

• There was NO DIFFERENCE between the age groups. Everyone reports a similar relationship between their Daily Spiritual Experiences and their sense of personal Flourishing.
• There was A STRONG CORRELATION for everyone between increased Daily Spiritual Experiences AND their personal sense of Flourishing.

For the full report, CLICK HERE.

The full report includes the questionnaires in the Appendix at the end.