Josias and Vanessa

First Josias started coming to our church. Then a girl started coming with him. They are both not from our immediate neighbourhood. Here is how some conversations went. “Who is the new girl?” “Josias’s girlfriend.” “Ohhh (and an opinion).” After several months, Josias and Vanessa started to think seriously about marriage, and Ivanildo and Monica set up regular pre-marital counselling meetings.

Yesterday, at the wedding feast, at about 10:30 at night, I was walking along the food line-up, talking to people, and reflecting on what a beautiful wedding it was. One of the 14 year old girls had a different expression on her face, so I stopped. She said, “One day I am going to get married.” It seemed to me like this was a new thought for her. Many girls in our neighbourhood get pregnant young, and go from their boyfriend’s house, or his mom’s house, and back to their mom’s house when things don’t work out, and many relationships are full of pain and difficulties. The beauty of a community of people supporting a young couple as they make marriage commitments is very profound.

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Vanessa

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“I do!”

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Married!

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The church transformed their front yard for the wedding.

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Huge amounts of food capped off the evening celebration.

Missionary Relationships

“Missionary time and emotional energy should be spent 30% on their support teams, 30% on their families, and 30% on actual field work”. This is how I counsel new missionaries. In real life, I have no idea how our time and energy actually gets distributed, but if we lose any one of these three areas of responsibility, our impact is seriously weakened.

Each Missionary is Part of a Big Support Team

Over 18 years ago Danny Meyer brought a team from Columbus, OH, for a short-term outreach. They stayed in our home that first time, and the Lord really drew us together. We lived on the edge of a swamp, in the middle of the city. The rats would sometimes scurry across the living room even as we visited. As Danny, and his wife Penny, continued to come to Altamira every year with teams, they introduced us to Craig and Linda Heselton. The Heselton’s started bringing teams. I think they came for over ten years in a row. Phil and Judy Niemie also came on these teams, and we ended up staying in each of these homes, just now, for two or three nights each. These friends became like Aunts and Uncles to our children. Every year they would come stay in our home, and they were there to see our children grow up from babies to adults. They brought gifts, and stories, and goodwill. Because a Christian outreach team is focused on ministry, there is always as special sense of Jesus’ presence all around the time they are there. Now all of these friends have grandchildren!

The People Who Come Full-time as Missionaries Become Like Family

Very close to our family are all the people who came to live and serve with us full-time, to help Train Leaders and Plant Churches in Brazil. Kevin and Angie came for five years. Ron and Tiffany came for two years. (They had no children then). Tim and Betsy Kubacki came for five years. (They are now serving in Angola). Our girls were best friends with the Kubacki children. Now, as teen-agers, even though they have not seen each other for four years, they could pick up right where they left off in their friendships. Keith and Marsha have been in Brazil about nine years, and are still there. We were able to see all these people, and even several more with similar stories, to encourage them in their journeys, however they are now serving God, and to receive even more encouragement than we gave.

Kevin and Angie’s house in Columbus.

 Kevin and Angie came to have ice cream with us at the Heselton’s house.

Ron and Tiffany now have 5 lively children, including 4 year old twin boys. Busy. And fun.

2014-07-25 at 14-44-20 Bella, Elly, Emma, Ben, and Meredith were all friends in Altamira.

Evaluation

Jesus taught us to expect life in the Kingdom of God to be different than any other religious or secular tradition.

How do you evaluate your spirituality today on the spectrum of “cannot” and “have-to” on the one side, and “freedom”  and “can I do that too?” on the other side.

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If you are not happy with where you placed your spiritual life on this spectrum, today is a good day to start a series of conversations with God to find out how you can change this.

Jesus promises freedom, and abundant life. Awhile ago I was sitting with my friend on the porch of his million dollar house, and we were talking about how we live in one of most privileged times in history. Many people around the world are able to sit on their front porches without fear of marauders, which reminded us of this prophecy in the Old Testament.

Micah 4:4 Everyone will sit under their own vine and under their own fig tree, and no one will make them afraid, for the LORD Almighty has spoken.

Still, many Christians and non-Christians, wealthy and not-wealthy, are unhappy.

Think for a minute: “What would it take to make me truly happy, right now?” Once you have the answer, read on.

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In my experience, and the Bible backs this up, we can only be really happy, and really content, when we are doing our best to walk with God on this earth. We can be eating grapes on our own porch, or we could be going through a dark night of the soul, or both. True happiness doesn’t really have to do with that. It has to do with walking in the destiny God has prepared for us. Maybe it is helpful to think of God holding a flashlight. As long as we are close to Him it is easy to see where to step next, and that really feels good. RGB.

Help Someone

Thought for the Day

Today I had coffee with a friend I have not seen in twenty-six years. As we talked of missions, God, and our families, he relayed the following story.“Sometimes our friends in church mention that they wish their teen-agers wanted to sit with them, as ours do. While these parents would like to have a better relationship with their children, they do not see the bigger picture. They do not choose to organize their lives so they can eat together as a family, and spend quality time together. Sitting together on Sunday is the tip of the ice-burg, the fruit of many years of choosing to do things together with our children, even if we would rather be doing other things”. 

This thought about serving others came out in a different way during our family devotions this week. Bella brought to our attention how the important centurion humbled himself before Jesus so his servant would be healed. This army leader stepped out of his comfort zone to help his servant. 

Matthew 8:5-6 When Jesus returned to Capernaum, a Roman officer came and pleaded with him, “Lord, my young servant lies in bed, paralyzed and in terrible pain.”


God will give you opportunities to help others this week, but sometimes you will need to step out of your comfort zone…maybe way out. I am curious about your experiences or thoughts about this.

Happy Father’s Day!

We are often amazed at the unfair, tragic stories of the people around us. The idea that a sinful lifestyle will make you happy, or that it is a person’s only option, passes naturally down the family lines. It takes divine intervention to stop the chain reactions of sin, and to start a new family story. Our church in Brazil allows our neighbours a chance to observe Christian families. For example, most of our neighbours still laugh when they hear that Deanna and I go out on Tuesdays for “date night”. They associate dating as something adults do outside of a marriage relationship. As these young people get married they need extra grace to figure out how to live in a godly relationship. Healthy ways of handling conflict have not been modelled for them. Stabbing, yelling, or going silent are no longer acceptable. Their children will have it easier, and their grandchildren easier yet…as long as each generation does their part to connect the next generation to God.

“…the LORD your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands. Exodus 20:5b-6 NLT

For a school report Bella and I studied her family heritage. “All my grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, and all my cousins, they are all Christians”. (36 people). Wow. Now how many others can we help to start their own Christian family heritage?

Our Mennonite Brethren Christian heritage goes back many generations. For this reason I am certain I have an easier time than many people around me. Often I think, “I’ll bet if I had been born into their family, I would be reacting exactly as they are reacting”. I am blessed in part because of the prayers and actions of people who lived long ago.

Here is Emma with my Dad and Mom, George and Margaret Bergen. 


There are great rewards as we work on our most important task in life, to do our best to pass on a Christian heritage to our children. What better way to do this than to include our families in helping other people start their own Christian heritage?

Emma Graduates!

Emma has homeschooled from grades K-12, with the exception of Grade 10. High Road Academy allowed Emma to participate in the graduation ceremonies and celebrations along with all her friends she went to school with in 2011/2012. Then HCOS, the home school association with whom we have been registered these past several years, also hosted a graduation ceremony, banquet, and evening. This was an especially interesting event because this is the first time most of these grads met each other, even though they have worked together in forums and projects online for years. Emma graduated with honours, and we are very proud of her. The teachers chose Emma to give the 5 minute opening speech for this huge event. 2014-06-08 at 22-42-05

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Emma was chosen to be the saladictorian, the student to give the opening speech and prayer.

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Emma’s Uncle Darrell drove her to the graduation ceremonies. He puta chrome 400 hp chrome racing motors in the ’55 Chevy he rebuilt. “It was so much fun. When Uncle Darrell stepped on the gas pedal we all got pinned back in our seats. And every person we passed on the freeway looked over and nodded at us”.


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Harold and Joan, Deanna’s parents, continue to do all they can to help us thrive in Brazil. We celebrated Harold’s 77th birthday yesterday.

Three Surprises about Forgiveness

Thought for the Day

Matthew 7:21

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven” NIV.

Pastor Gary at the Abbotsford Vineyard gave a sermon on forgiveness today. He started by outlining some things that forgiveness is not. 

Click here for a list of 8 things that are NOT forgiveness.

I have learned the following three truths about forgiveness this year.

1. We forgive others for our own benefit. (THIS IS A GIFT I GIVE MYSELF.)

a) This is the only way that we ourselves are forgiven, that we can pursue happiness, contentment, joy, and all that God offers.

b) Remember the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant in Matthew 18, we are forgiven as we forgive others.

2. We ask forgiveness from others for our own benefit. (THIS IS A GIFT I GIVE MYSELF.)

a)  This is the only way to be released from legitimate guilt.

b) We do this so our gifts to God have value. Matthew 6:14 Gifts that have no value are worthless.

3. We explain to others when they have sinned against us for their benefit. (THIS IS A GIFT I GIVE TO OTHERS.)

a) This is a selfless act of service. It is like offering an olive branch to people who have sinned against us. We are offering them a chance to ask forgiveness, to release themselves from legitimate guilt.

b) “So watch yourselves. ‘If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them'” (Luke 17:3, NIV). See also Matthew 18:15.

c) Explaining to others when they have sinned against us can only be done effectively when it is done in love. We cannot do this well when we are angry, or when we are still reacting poorly to what was done to us.

d) This one is for me the most difficult because:

i) I would rather forget the matter, and hope it will just go away. The problem with this is that some situations do not just go away.

ii) The other person may not realize they have sinned against me, or they may not agree that they have sinned against me. The conversation may be awkward. After courageously talking to the other person, I may see things differently. This has the potential to put the relationship back on a healing track.

iii) The other person may think they have a right to sin against me, and it may feel to me like they are standing their with their emotional arms crossed. It may feel like I am asking them to say sorry to me for my benefit, instead of the real truth that I am extending to them an olive branch so they can be freed from legitimate guilt. This has the potential to be awkward. Of course, the other person may ask genuine forgiveness, which I may have trouble to give, because of the deepness of the wound.

iv) A real danger here is that the other person may ask forgiveness without really agreeing that they did something wrong, just to make the immediate conversation go away. This is the same as lying, even though both parties may have good intentions. In this case the sin will probably be intentionally repeated, with both parties feeling they are right. Deceiving one another is not nearly as helpful as having courageous conversations until both parties feel completely understood.

v) If this goes well, this is the first step to rebuilding trust. Trust can only be rebuilt when both sides agree that trust was broken. Then both sides can start taking steps towards reconciliation.

Conclusion: We cannot control other peoples actions and reactions. Our responsibility before God is to (1) Forgive everyone completely, (2) ask forgiveness if we know someone has something against us, and (3) to let others know when they have sinned against us. 

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” Romans 12:18 NIV.



I am curious about your experiences or thoughts about this.

Sincerely,

Rick Bergen.

Forgiveness is not…

On June 6, 2014, Pastor Gary Stephens at the Abbotsford Vineyard Church talked about forgiveness, which included the following assumptions about what forgiveness is not.

  • Forgiveness is not making excuses for what was done to you.
  • Forgiveness is not pretending it never happened.
  • Forgiveness is not waiting for an apology.
  • Forgiveness is not pretending it doesn’t hurt.
  • Forgiveness is not a one-time event.
  • Forgiveness is not overlooking justice.
  • Forgiveness is not trusting.
  • Forgiveness is not restoration.

Posted with permission.

Rick Bergen.

Children’s Christmas Party

Jen and Phil organized an outreach last summer to raise some toys for the children in our neighbourhood here in Marabá. They found an engineer who was travelling to another part of Brazil who was willing to bring their suitcases full of gifts. The engineer had connections with a trucking company who transported them up to Marabá for free. Here is a video and some photos of the event.

Children's Christmas Play 1

Sorting and wrapping children’s gifts.

Children's Christmas Play

Deanna lays out the strategy with the volunteer helpers.

Children's Christmas Play (1)

It rained all morning, which was no problem for the 100 children and leaders.

Children's Christmas Play (2)

Mary was quite protective of baby Jesus.

Children's Christmas Play 2

Everyone loved the morning.

Children's Christmas Play 3

Julianna soaks it all in.

Children's Christmas Play 4

Mary looks around while protectively holding baby Jesus.

Children's Christmas Play 5

Mary is pretend sleeping while the angel talks to her.

Children's Christmas Play (3)

“Sai da frente!” “Get out of the way, we’re coming through!”

Children's Christmas Play (5)

Antonette and Madute were great helpers. They are entering the church through the Alpha program.

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Deanna organizes the gift draw.

Children's Christmas Play 10

Little Emily wanted me to sit beside her while she ate lunch. Deanna came and took our photo.

Children's Christmas Play 9

Annika spent the morning holding her friend’s babies while she helped with the event.

Children's Christmas Play 7

Mary was very pregnant while she rode the donkey to Bethlehem.