Strange Stories

There is the strangest story in 1 Kings 13. The king makes a golden calf. When he is going to sacrifice an offering to it, a prophet of God shows up with a message. The king is very angry. He shouts and points, “Seize him!” God paralyses the king. His hand gets frozen. He cannot pull it back. The alter cracks so all the ashes poured out. The king begs for mercy so the man of God prayed and the kings hand became normal. “But even after this, Jeroboam did not turn from his evil ways.” Does that not seem strange to you? God tries to attract us to Him, but the choice is ours. Then I remembered a story I heard two days ago.

Viceli, the bricklayer who made our fence, came to the church to get drinking water. He was quite agitated. “I gave my motorcycle to a lady to sell it. She sold it, but she will not give me my money.”

The next day, (two days ago), I decided to stop and talk to Cessão to see if there was more to the story, and if I could be helpful. I knew her by reputation. Iran is a friend who worked on our house. When Iran stabbed his wife through her arm, this lady straightened him out. “She makes your food! She is your kid’s mother! She puts up with you! If you ever do anything like this again I will not help you anymore!” He has not done anything like this for two years. Cessão is Iran’s sister.

She was super friendly. She had heard of us too. Her two sons and her grandson where sitting there with her in the shade of a mango tree where some motorbikes with “For Sale” signs were parked. She was quite indignant about the motorcycle story I had heard. Apparently the police are now involved. Then we started on other stories. She is one of the youngest of 52 brothers and sisters. Her dad and mom had 12 children. But her dad had some girlfriends in different towns. Four of them had 6 kids each. She could see me doing the math in my head: “and there were some others”. She councils her three sons to have two children each, and to take care of them. Then in the middle of our talking she says, kind of out of the blue, “I’m not a Believer!”

I was kind of surprised. “Why not?”

“Oh, I believe in God, and pray a lot, but I don’t go to church or pray like that.”

We kept on talking. Mostly, she kept on talking. The freezing was leaving my face from getting three teeth filled at the dentist. Deanna and the girls were traveling. No one was home. I was in no rush.

Iran had 10 kids. One of his daughters was covered in scabs and could hardly move. Cessão took the daughter to a guy across the river. For R$420 her niece could stay on this farm, get “prayed” (‘rezar’ means kind of a chanting ritual prayer) over every day, and put a potion of powdered milk on her skin. Cessão paid the R$420 for her niece and took her there. She did not know if this was a Christian outfit or what.  This 30 year old daughter is almost completely healed. The daughter’s mom died of this disease.

Suddenly Cessão says, “I was healed. My legs were completely swollen. I couldn’t wear my shoes anymore. It was really painful.”

Her son looked over, “That is because someone did witchcraft on her.”

Cessão leaned back, “I was in my yard in the late afternoon when I saw this frog at our gate. He was by far the hugest frog I have ever seen.” She showed me with her hands how it was the size of a small football. “It just kept staring at me, and opening and closing it’s mouth. Finally I got a broom and shooed it out the gate and down the road and way over there.” She points. “The next day I was sitting in my yard with my husband and the frog shows up again. It just kept staring at me and opening it’s mouth. I was going to kill it but my husband said to just shoo it away again. So I did. And that is when I got sick. I started throwing up white bile. I got sick in my stomach. My legs swelled up. This went on for a long time. Then my neighbour asked me to come to the Assembly of God church. ‘No. I am not going to church.’ She kept pestering me, so finally I went. I could hardly walk. The lady evangelist said, ‘Two people here really need prayer. One has cancer, and the other is going to die in 30 days if she doesn’t come forward.’ I went close to the front and I saw a guy throw up, and this big gob of cancer came out, and it smelled really bad. The evangelist kept talking about this other person and I wondered if it could be me. Finally I stepped forward. The lady said to me, ‘You have a curse on you. Two big frogs came to visit you right?’ I almost fell over. I had not told anyone except my husband about the frogs. The lady prayed for me and told me again that if I had not come forward I would have died in 30 days. I went home and threw up a lot more white, smelly bile and then it was over. The swelling went down immediately. Look at my feet.” She showed me her feet. I could see the stretch marks on the skin, but the size was normal.

“When did this happen?”

“A month ago.”

Pause.

“But I’m not a Christian. I believe in God, but I have never gone forward in a church, or asked Jesus into my heart, or anything like that.”

I got the sense that Cessão would like Jesus, but she does not want the religious package as she understands it. I don’t know. I could be wrong. But it’s the start of a friendship. I think the Lord is attracting her to Him.

I got on my motorbike and went home.

An hour later I went for a walk in our neighbourhood. I met five other friends, all sitting in the dirt and drinking on a dark street corner. They were so happy to see me. I was amazed. Big smiles. Hugs. “Remember me?”, from a guy who once worked at our place once. They all started talking at once.

“I’m sorry I came to church drunk the other Sunday.”

“I’m sorry I never came to church last Sunday. I was fishing”. And drinking.

“I’m sorry I crossed your yard with that crocodile a few weeks ago. You can come take a photo of his head if you want. He was 4m20cms. I killed him right in front of your place. And there is another one there. I saw it yesterday. Don’t let little kids swim on your river front until I kill it.”

One told me he used to be a Foursquare pastor. (unconfirmed). Others know quite a few Bible verses. One drunk slurred out how Jesus came to help the sick, not the healthy. I agreed, and invited them all to church again.

“I need to talk to you personally.” We go around the corner. “I have a really bad toothache”. Then I looked at his jaw. It was puffed out, like the tooth was coming through his cheek. Where it was puffed out it was scraped, like he had fallen on it. It looked really painful. We went back to our place and I gave him some tylenol.

These must be the answers to many prayers. The darkness is lifting. God is on the move.

Rick.